Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Im and will be alone for my own greed. It was me, who wanted to study in a BIG city then why my heart questions this decision every day. Was it worth to leave everything and to go for a dream which is unstable? Why I still want to run home every day. Why I still cry every day for nothing. Why I am addicted to facebook so much. Why money has become my only savior.

Some rhetoric questions, which cant be ever answered. Left everything here too, my passion, my aim, my motto. People say this man can do anything then why I cant fix my own heart. Why I'm so confused. People say they will miss me, then why I don't feel these feelings when I'm near them.

At times when I shout in pain, I just want to see my mother for once. At times when I am sick, I just want someone to sit beside me. At times when I'm frightened at night, I just want someone to hug me tight..

I always wanted to become a gentleman, then why I'm acknowledged as a flirt. I love women and duly respect them, but never intended them in a wrong gesture. Me being a English tutor has always been a part of humor and poking everywhere. People are frustrated with my daily updates and frightened to share things with me. Why I am still laid down in front of others.

Why I feel so missed out behind my close buddies. Why I feel the distance when I need the person the most. I am accused of being mean and selfish. Why people bitch and disrespect behind my back, why Im regarded as non-reliable. People say I compare myself to everyone, I compete and dissatisfaction shows every time in my face. Why people say that I don’t listen to anyone and order them.

I'm not sentimental or emotional, I am just feeble and want someone to understand me. I shouldn’t have come so far for my own greed. Paying off everyday.. Addictions have gone beyond limits. This emptiness kills me every time and at times when I want to spend some good time, I am always forced to regret on my greed. I am and I will be alone for my own greed.

“Maine dil se kha, dhund lana khusi..”

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