The Last Year

I have achieved everything which I had always dream of. It has been a wonderful year. Writing the last article of 2013 feels energizing with a hope of lots of work next year. I wrote less this year, because of my work. Working for a multinational company made me feel great. An experience, memory which will always linger within me. They too left. Started the journey with 22 people, ended with none. Ripped out of the firm in the month of September, broke me. But I stood firm and straight.

I moved to Delhi. The capital didn't seem big any more. One thing which I noticed this year was friendship. I thought I had lots, but actually it was few. Almost everyone left me this year. People whom I loved the most left me. Yeah it was my entire fault. I fought with them. I said that I don’t have time, and many more. People also said that they won’t ever talk to me again in their entire life.

Sometimes, I sit back and think today, what happened this year was never expected. This year I saw another phase of life. I saw people departing when I needed them the most. I saw what is back stabbing. I saw bitching. I saw people disrespecting BDL. I saw them all.

I did everything I could have done. I only expected love as my reward. But I failed every time I searched for it. There are things which I can’t change ever. My past had been very rude to me, and future will be more devastating. Mistakes had become blunder. For whom I lived, they just valued me as their need. The time I need someone the most, I am lost. I am forced to think about my decisions. The ones I thought are mine proved me time and again wrong.

Its always difficult to live without your family. Yes I cried out loud every day and wished someone to hold me tight and say “Main hu naa”. Many say they wished to become like me. I always pray and ask God that no one should ever get my life. Don’t get attracted to the fame, you have no idea what’s behind the mask.

Everyone has that someone special to live for, I choose none for myself. Spreading love throughout made me nil. Today I stand and shout for that love and care, but cannot see anyone waiting for me. Today everyone is departing, waiting for those days to come, when I will be left with none. The days are coming with a lightning speed. The days to my end.

“Allah Waariyan, main toh haariyan, tooti yaariyan mila de oye…”